英语的幽默笑话
DID YOUR DAD HELP YOU?
One day, Tim's mathematics teacher looked at his homework and
saw that he had got all his sums right. The teacher was very
pleased-and rather surprised. He called Tim to his desk and
said to him, "You got all your homework right this time, Tim.
What hened? Did your father help you?"
"No, sir. He was too busy last night, so I had to do it all
myself," said Tim.
你爸爸帮你了吗?
一天，蒂姆的数学老师看了他的作业，发现他全做对了。老师很高兴
，同时也十分惊讶。他把蒂姆叫到桌前说："蒂姆，你这次的作业全都
做对了，怎么回事?你爸爸帮你做了吗?"
"不，先生，我爸爸昨天很忙，我不得不全由自己做了。"
Tom call Jim's name:"I can't bear such a foolish!"
and Jim say:"You mother could (bear)!"
Pig or Witch 猪还是女巫
A man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road. A woman is driving down the same road. As they pass each other, the woman leans out of the window and yells "PIG!!" The man immediately leans out of his window and replies, "WITCH(女巫)!!" They each continue on their way, and as the man rounds the next corner, he crashes into a pig in the middle of the road. If only men would listen.
译文1：一个男人在一条陡峭狭窄的山路上驾车，一个女人相向驾车而来。他们相遇时，那个女的从窗中伸出头来叫到：?猪!!?那个男的立即从窗中伸出头来回敬道：?女巫!!?他们继续前行。这个男的在下一个路口转弯时，撞上了路中间的一头猪。要是这个男的能听懂那个女人的意思就好了。
Contented Married Life
A man was telling one of his friends the secret of his contented married life, "My wife makes all the small decisions," he explained, "and I make all the big ones, so we never interfere in each other's business and never get annoyed with each other. We he no complaints and no arguments."
"That sounds reasonable," answered his friend sympathetically. "And what sort of decisions does your wife make?"
"Well," answered the man, "she decides what jobs I ly for, what sort of house we live in, what furniture we he, where we go for our holidays, and things like that."
His friend was surprised. "Oh?" he said. "And what do you consider important decisions then?"
"Well," answered the man, "I decide who should be Prime Minister, whether we should increase our help to poor countries, what we should do about the atom bomb, and things like that."
令人满意的婚姻生活
一个男人告诉他的朋友自己婚姻幸福美满的秘密，?小事都由我妻子决定，?他解释说：?而我只管大事，我们从不互相干涉，从不生对方的'气。我们从来没有抱怨、没有争吵。?
?听起来很有道理，?他的朋友深有同感，?有哪些事情由你妻子作决定呢
?嗯，?那个人回答说：?她决定我申请什么工作，我们住什么房子，买什么家具，去哪里度这些事情。?
他的朋友很惊奇的问道：?哦?那么你决定哪些重要事情
?嗯，?他回答：?我决定谁来当首相，我们是否要增加对贫困国家的援助，怎么处理等等这些问题。?
汤姆对着吉姆骂道:"我受不了你这个苯蛋了!"
吉姆说:"你妈妈能!"
附:bear 有两重意思:"生"和"忍受"这个笑话正是根据这点.
Tom call Jim's name:"I can't bear such a foolish!"
and Jim say:"You mother could (bear)!"
汤姆对着吉姆骂道:"我受不了你这个苯蛋了!"
吉姆说:"你妈妈能!"
附:bear 有两重意思:"生"和"忍受"这个笑话正是根据这点.
;双语幽默英语笑话汇集
1、话说某年某月的某一天，叁个神箭手约在一起比箭，目标是十尺外仆人头上的苹果。
A神箭手挽弓长射，咻一声，利箭正中苹果。A高傲的昂起下巴，比出一根大拇指道：「I AM 后羿!」
B神箭手照本宣科，射中苹果，这回他自大的喊了一句：「I AM 丘比特!」
轮到C了，他也挽弓，利箭射出!结果正中仆人的心脏。就听他结结巴巴好久才吐出一句：「I...I...I...AM...SORRY...」
Note by Jodie: 此处用西班牙口音说Sorry肥更有趣
2、昨天来了个外国人，进到办公室，前台**左看右看，大家都在打游戏，只有自己比较清闲，就面带微笑的："Hello?"
外国人："Hi."
前台**："You he what thing?"(你有什么事?)
外国人："Can you speak English?"(你会讲英语吗)
前台**："If I not speak English， I am speaking what?"(如果我不会说，那我现在说的什么)
外国人："Can anybody else speak English? "(还有谁能讲英语吗)
前台**："You yourself look. all people are playing，no people he time， you can wait， you wait， you not wait， you go."(你自己看看，所有人都在玩呢，都没空，你愿意等就等，不愿意就走你)
外国人：I want to ask about online shopping.(我想咨询下关于网上购物的事情)
前台**:Online shopping?is Use Internet shopping，You de understand?(网上购物?就是用上网购物，你的明白?)
外国人：。。。。。
前台**：you can baidu?top leader?!!你可以去百度?尚品领袖?
外国人：。。。。"Good heens. anybody here can speak English?"(我的上帝，这儿有谁会说英语吗?) I want to speak to your head."(我想和你的领导谈谈)
前台**："Head not zai.You tomorrow come."(头儿不在，你明天再来吧)
3、Bad news and good news 好消息和坏消息
An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings currently on display.
一名艺术家问画廊老板，最近有没有人对他展出的画感兴趣。
"I've got good news and bad news," owner replied.
?这有好消息和坏消息，?老板回答。
"The good news is that a gentleman inquired about your work and wondered if it would reciate in value after your death.
?好消息是有一位先生咨询你的作品，他想知道在你死后你的画会不会升值。
When I told him it would, he bought all fif of your paintings.
我告诉他你的画会升值，他就把你的15幅画全都买走了。?
"That's wonderful!" the artist exclaimed," What's the bad news?"
?真是太好了?，艺术家是喜形于色，?那坏消息是什么?
With concern, the gallery owner replied,"The guy was your doctor."
带着关心的口吻，画廊老板回答，?买画的人是你的医生?。
4、女儿的来信
Joan and her neighbor are talking about their daughters, Joan says, my daughter is at the university.
She?s very bright, you know. Every time we get a letter from her we he to go to the dictionary.
Her neighbor says you are lucky every time we hear from our daughter we he to go to the bank.
Joan和她的邻居在一起聊天，聊到各自的女儿;Joan说我女儿在上大学。她很聪明，你知道的。每次我们接到她的来信，我们都要查字典。
她的邻居说，你真!每次我们接到我女儿的信，我们都要去银行。
5、A New Mum took her baby daughter to the supermarket for the first time.
一个年轻的妈妈头一回带着她的宝贝女儿到超市买东西，
She dressed her in pink from head to toe.
她把小宝贝从头到脚穿上粉红色的衣服。
At the store, she placed her in the shopping cart and put her purchases around her.
在商场，她把小女孩放在购物车里，把买来的东西都推在孩子周围。
At the checkout line a small boy and his mother were ahead of them.
在付款台前排队时，一个小男孩和他妈妈正好排在她们前面。
The child was crying and begging for some special treat.
那个小男孩在哭，看上去在向他妈要着什么东西，年轻的妈妈想，
He wants some candy or gumand his mother won't let him he any, she thought.
这个小孩一定是要糖果或是口香糖之类的玩意儿，而他妈妈又不给，所以才闹得这么厉害。
Then she heard his mother's reply.
然而就在这个时候，她听到男孩的妈妈一边回答说，
"No!"she said, looking in her direction.
?不行，?一边往她的方向看过来，
"You may not he a baby sister today. That lady got the last one"
?你今天不能买一个小妹妹了，那位女士把最后一个买走了!?
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6、Mike:Mum,I want to watch TV.
Mum:There is no electricity tonight.
Mike:Then let's watch TVwith a candie on.
迈克：妈妈，我想看电视。
妈妈：今晚停电了。
迈克：那我们就点着蜡烛看吧。
7、Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I ge you yesterday?"
"I ge it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."
好孩子
小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
?昨天给你的钱干什么了?
?我给了一个可怜的`老太婆，?他回答说。你真是个好孩子，?妈妈骄傲地说。?再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢?
?她是个卖糖果的。?
8、Teacher: Here are two bird,one is a swallow,the other is a sparrow.Now who can tell us which is which?
Student: I can't point out but i know the answer.
Teacher: Please tell us.
Student: The swallowis beside the sparrow,and the sparrow is beside the swallow.
两只小鸟
老师：这里有两只小鸟，一只是燕子，另一只是麻雀，谁能告诉我们哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀吗?
学生：我不会分辨但我知道答案。
老师：那请你告诉我们。
学生：燕子旁边的是麻雀，麻雀旁边的是燕子。
9、A dog can play the piano 会弹钢琴的狗
A guy walks into a bar with a small dog. The bartender says, "Get out of here with that dog!"
The guy says, "But this isn't just any dog... this dog can play the piano!"
The bartender replies, "Well, if he can play that piano, you both can stay... and he a drink onthe house!"
So the guy sits the dog on the piano stool, and the dog starts playing.
Ragtime, Mozart... and the bartender and patrons are enjoying the music.
Suddenly a bigger dog runs in, grabs the small dog by the scruff of the neck, and drags him out.
The bartender asks the guy, "What was that all about?"
The guy replies, "Oh, that was his mother. She wanted him to be a doctor."
一个人带着他的狗走进一家酒吧。
酒吧服务生对他说，?这里不能带狗进来，请离开吧!?
那个人对服务生说，?这可不是一般的狗，它可是会弹钢琴的!?
服务生回答说，?呃，如果它真的能弹钢琴，你们可以免费在这喝上一杯!?
那个人把狗放到了弹钢琴坐的凳子上面，狗就开始了演奏，先是拉格泰姆音乐、接着弹莫扎特还有其它的 服务生和顾客们都非常欣赏它的弹奏。
突然，一只体型更大的狗跑了进来，一把抓住小狗的脖子就把它拽出去了。
酒吧服务生问那个人，?那是怎么回事?
那人回答，?噢，那是它妈妈。她不想它儿子玩音乐，而是做一名医生。?
10、Teacher: Would Shakespeare be a great man if he were still alive today?
Student: Of course. He must be a great man, for so far nobody has lived to over 400 years.
老师：如果莎士比亚还活着，他会是一名伟人吗?
学生：当然。因为到目前为止，还没有人活到400多岁。
11、Mr. Smith: Waiter, there's a dead fly in my soup.
Waiter: Yes, sir, I know---it's the heat that kills it.
史密斯先生：服务员，我的汤里有一只死苍蝇.
服务员：是的，先生，我知道了，它是被烫死的.
12、Son: Dad, give me a dime.
Father: Son, don't you think you're getting too big to be forever begging for dimes?
Son: I guess you're right, Dad, Give me a dollar, will you?
儿子：爸爸，给我一角钱。
父亲：儿子，你不认为你已经长大了，不该再老是一角一角地要钱了(该自立了)，不是吗?
儿子：爸爸，我想你是对的，那给我一块钱行吗?
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;One day,a man go to fishing,He catch the squid,He said to the squid:""I'll roast you." That squid said:"please,don't roast me ."The man said:"ok,I ask you a question."That squid said:"alright alright,you ask,you ask."That man roast that squid! 有一天，有一个人去钓鱼，他钓到一只鱿鱼，他对那只鱿鱼说：我要烤了你。那只鱿鱼就说：求求你，不要烤了我。那个人就说：那好吧，我考你一个问题。那只鱿鱼就说：好啊好啊，你考吧你考吧。结果那个人就把那只鱿鱼给烤了。 祝你开心！
笑话能反映出一个民族的价值系统及其对周围世界肯定和否定的态度。下面是我带来的英语幽默笑话带翻译，欢迎阅读!
英语幽默笑话带翻译精选
***一***
他的得数只比正确答案多二
Jack Hawkins was the football at an Amercian college, and he was always trying to find good players, but they weren't always *** art enought to be accepted by the college. One day the brought an excellent young player to the dean of the college and asked that the student be allowed to enter without an examination. "Well," the dean said after some persuasion, "I'd better ask him a few questions first." Then he turned to the student and asked him some very easy questions, but the student didn't know any of the answers. At last the dean said, "Well, what's five times seven?" The student thought for a long time and then answered, "Thirty-six." The dean threw up his hands and looked at the in despair, but the said earnestly, "Oh, please let him in, sir! He was only wrong by two."
杰克霍金斯是美国一所学院的橄榄球队教练，他竭力想物色好球员。但是好球员学业不行，院方不愿录取。 有一天，教练带着一位优秀的年轻球员去见院长，希望院方同意他免试入学。经过一番劝说后院长说：“那我最好先问问他几个问题。” 然后他转向学生，问了几个非常简单的问题。可是那个学生一个也答不上来。 最后院长说：“那么，五乘七得多少?” 学生想了很久，然后回答说：“三十六。” 院长摊开双手失望地看教练。可是教练认真地说，“噢，录取他吧，先生。他的答案只比正确答案多二。”
***二***
基本原则
One of my forite teachers at Southeast Missouri State University in Cape Girardeau wasknown of his droll sense of humor. Explaining his ground rules to one freshman class, he said, "Now I know my lectures can often be dry and boring, so I don't mind if you look at yourwatches during class. I do, however, object to your pounding them on the desk to make surethey're still running."
位于吉拉多海角的密苏里东南州立大学有一位我非常喜欢的老师，他奇特的幽默感很是出名。在对一个新生班级讲解他的基本原则时，他说：“我知道我的讲课可能经常会枯燥乏味，了无生趣，所以如果你们在上课时看表我并不介意。不过我坚决反对你们将表在课桌上猛敲看它们是不是还在走。”
英语幽默笑话带翻译阅读
***一***
A Life for a Life
以“命”抵命
The English author, Richard Sage, was once living inLondon in great poverty. In order toearn a little money he hadwritten the story of his life, but not many copies of the bookhad beensold in the shops, and Sage was living from hand tomouth. As a result of his lack of food hebecame very ill, but after a time, owing to the skill of the doctor who had lookedafter him, hegot well again.
英国作家理查德·萨维奇一度在伦敦过著贫困潦倒的生活，为了赚几个钱，他曾写了有关他自己生平的故事。但是这部书在书店里并没有卖出几本，萨维奇过著朝不保夕的日子。由于缺乏食物，他病得很厉害。后来，由于给他治疗的那个医生的高明医术，他才又恢复了健康。
After a week or two the doctorsent a bill to Sage for his visits, but poor Sage hadn'tanymoney and couldn't pay it. The doctor waited for another month and sent the bill again. Butstill no money came. Afterseveral weeks he sent it to him again asking for his money. Inthe endhe came to Sage's house and asked him for payment, saying to Sage, “You know you oweyour life to me and Iexpected some gratitude from you.”
过了一两个星期之后，医生给萨维奇送来了一张讨要诊费的帐单，但是贫穷的萨维奇没有钱来偿付。医生等了一个月后又送来了帐单，但仍然未索回分文。几个星期之后，他又送来帐单要钱。最后，医生本人来到了萨维奇的家中，对他说：“你明白，你是欠我一条命的，我希望你有所报答。”
“I agree,” said Sage, “that I owe my life to you, and toprove to you that I am not ungratefulfor your work I will givemy life to you.”
“是的，”萨维奇说，“我是欠你一条命，为了向你证明我对你的诊治不是不报答，我将把我的命给你。”
With these words he handed to him two volumes entitled,The life of Richard Sage.
说著这番话，萨维奇递给医生两卷书，名叫《理查德·萨维奇的一生》。
***二***
区别
"I can always tell a graduate class from an undergraduate class," observed the instructor in oneof my graduate engineering courses at California State University in Los Angeles. "When I say,'Good afternoon,' the undergraduates respond, 'Good afternoon." But the graduate studentsjust write it down."
“研究生班和本科生很容易就能区别开来，”在洛杉矶加利亚州立大学给我们研究生上工程学课的老师如此说。“我说‘下午好’，本科生们回答说‘下午好’。研究生们则把我说的话记在笔记本上。”
英语幽默笑话带翻译学习
***一***
抄袭
A friend of mine who teachs European history at Washington University in St. Louis tell aboutthe time he spotted a plagiarized term paper. He summoned the student to his office. "This isn'tyour work." he said. "Someone typed it for you straight out of the encyclopedia. "You cann'tprove that!" the student sputtered. My friend amiled and show him the paper. Circled in redwas: "Also see article on muni *** ."
我有个朋友在圣路易斯的华盛顿大学教欧洲历史，他说有一次他发现了一篇抄袭的学期论文。他把那个学生叫到了办公室。“这不是你写的，”他说，“有人帮你从百科全书上原封不动地列印了下来。” “你没有证据。”那学生气急败坏地说。 我朋友笑了，他把论文拿给他看。用红笔圈出来的是：“也可参阅共产主义一文。”
***二***
Get Ready!
A story around campus has it taht a student once sent a telegram to his parents reading: "Mom - flunked all courses. Kicked out of school. Prepare Pop." Two days later he received a response: "Pop prepared. Prepare yourself."
校园里流传着这样的故事：一个学生一次给父母拍了一份电报，上面写着：“妈妈-我所有功课都不及格，被学校开除。让爸爸做好准备。” 两天以后，他收到了回电：“爸爸已准备好。你自己做好准备吧!”
The mean man's party
The notorious cheap skate finally decided to he a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to 5M and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot."
"Why use my elbow and foot?"
"Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-hangded, are you?吝啬鬼请客
一个出了名的吝啬鬼终于决定要请一次客了。他在向一个朋友解释怎么找到他家时说：“你上到五楼，找中间那个门，然后用你的胳膊肘按门铃。门开了之后，再用你的脚把门推开。”
“为什么要用我的肘和脚呢？”
“你的双手得拿礼物啊。天哪，你总不会空着手来吧？”吝啬鬼回答。
I think that I'm a chicken
Psychiatrist: What's your problem?
Patient: I think I'm a chicken.
Psychiatrist: How long has this been going on?
Patient: Ever since I was an egg!
医师：你哪里不舒服？
病人：我认为我是一只鸡。
医师：这种情况从什么时候开始的？
病人：从我还是一只蛋的时候开始。
Who Is the Laziest?
Father: Well, Tom, I asked to your teacher today, and now I want to ask you a question. Who is the laziest person in your class?
Tom: I don't know, father.
Father: Oh, yes, you do! Think! When other boys and girls are doing and writing, who sits in the class and only watches how other people work?
Tom: Our teacher, father.
中文：
父亲：哎，汤姆，今天我跟你们老师谈过，现在我想问你个问题。你们班上谁最懒？
汤姆：我不知道，爸爸。
父亲：啊，不对，你知道！想想看，当别的孩子们都在做作业、写字时，谁在课堂上坐着，只是看人家做功课？
汤姆：我们老师，爸爸。
Old Farmer Johnson was dying. The family was standing around his bed. With a low voice he said to his wife: "When I'm dead I want you to marry farmer Jones."
Wife: "No, I can't marry anyone after you."
Johnson: "But I want you to."
Wife: "But why?"
Johnson: "Jones once cheated me in a horse deal!"
译文：
老农约翰逊就要死了。他的家人都站在床边。他声音低沉地对妻子说：“我死后，我想你嫁给农夫琼斯。”
妻子说：“不，在你死后，我不能嫁给任何人。”
约翰逊：“但我希望你这么做。”
妻子：“为什么？”
约翰逊：“因为琼斯曾在一笔贩马的交易中欺骗了我。”
冷笑话作为一种新兴的语言现象，越来越受到大家的关注，尤其在网路、杂志、微博、**上十分盛行。下面我整理了简洁英语幽默笑话，希望大家喜欢!
简洁英语幽默笑话品析
St Peter's question
圣彼德的问题
Three men, a doctor, an accountant and a lawyer are dead and they ear in front of St Peter. St Peter tells them that they he to answer one question in order to get to Heen. He looks at the doctor and asks, "There was a movie that was made about a ship that sank after hitting an iceberg, what was its name?" The doctor answers, "The Titanic" and he is sent through. He then looks at the accountant and say, "How many people died in that ship?" Fortunately the accountant had just watched the movie and he answers, "1 500!". St Peter sends him through and then finally turns to the lawyer and mands, in a very hey voice, "Name them!".
有三个人死了，分别是一名医生、一名会计和一名律师。他们来到了圣彼德面前。圣彼德对他们说，如果他们想进入天堂，就得每人回答一个问题。圣彼德看着医生开始发问，“以前**院放过一部**，说的是一艘船撞击冰山后沉没，**的名字是什么?” 医生回答，“<<泰坦尼克号>>”，医生随即被允许进入天堂。然后圣彼德看着会计说，“船上有多少人遇难?”。会计很走运，因为他刚看过这部**，回答道，“1500人遇难。”圣彼德把会计也放进天堂了。最后，圣彼德转过身，看着律师，非常严肃地用命令的口吻问道，“把1500人的名字都说出来?”
经典简洁英语幽默笑话
A *** art housewife
精明的家庭主妇
A *** art housewife was told that there was a kind of stove which would only consume half ofthe coal she was burning. She was very excited, and said: "That'll be terrific! Since one stovecan se half of the coal, if I buy two, no coal will be needed!"
一位精明的家庭主妇听人说有一种炉子用起来可以比她现在用的炉子省一半的煤。她听了大为兴奋，说：“那太好了!一个炉子可以省一半的煤，那么如果我买两个炉子的话，不就可以把煤全都省下来了吗?”
关于简洁英语幽默笑话
Be Careful What You Wish For
慎重许愿
A couple had been married for 25 years and were celebrating their 60th birthdays, which fell onthe same day.
一对结婚25周年的夫妻在庆祝他们六十岁的生日。他们恰好在同一天出生。
During the celebration a fairy eared and said that because they had been such a lovingcouple for all 25 years, she would give them one wish each.
庆祝活动中，一位仙女出现了。她说，由于他们是已经结婚25年的恩爱夫妻，因此她给许给这对夫妻每个人一个愿望。
The wife wanted to trel around the world. The fairy wed her hand, and Boom! She had thetickets in her hand.
妻子想周游世界。仙女招了招手。“呯!”的一声，她的手中出现了一张票。
Next, it was the hu *** and's turn. He paused for a moment, then said shyly, "Well, I'd like tohe a woman 30 years younger than me."
接下来该丈夫许愿了。他犹豫片刻，害羞地说，“那我想要一位比我年轻30岁的女人。”
The fairy picked up her wand, and Boom! He was ninety.
仙女拾起了魔术棒。“呯!”，他变成了90岁。
简洁英语幽默笑话欣赏
Expensive Advice
昂贵的建议
The doctor finally reached his table at a dinner, after breaking away from a woman who soughtadvice on a health problem.
大夫在打发走了一个就健康问题向他咨询的妇女之后，最后来到餐桌上。
"Do you think I should send her a bill?" the doctor asked a lawyer who sat next to him.
“你认为我应该向她收费吗?”大夫问坐在身边的一个律师。
"Why not?" the lawyer replied. "You rendered professional services by giving advice."
“有什么不应该?”律师答道，“你通过提建议提供了职业 *** 。”
"Thanks," the physician said. "I think I'll do that."
“谢谢，”大夫说道，“看来我得这么做。”
When the doctor went to his office the next day to send the bill to the woman, he found aletter from the lawyer. It read:
第二天当大夫去办公室给那位妇女写账单时，他收到律师的一封信。信中写道：
"For legal services, $50."
“请付法律服务费50美元。”
简洁英语幽默笑话品味
A Bad Impression
一个坏印象
My hu *** and and I are both writers. During dinner conversations, we often tell our childrenabout our working days. It wasn't clear how much they absorbed until one day I overheard myseven-year- old, Lucy, cry out in frustration at her five-year-old sister, Charlotte, "You, you...you editor!"
我丈夫和我都是作家。晚夕谈话中，我们经常给孩子们谈到我们的工作。没人清楚他们听懂了多少。直到有一天，我偶然听到七岁的女儿卢希烦恼地向她五岁的妹妹喊道：“你，你----你这个编辑!”
The plural Form of "Child"
Teacher: What is the plural of man, Tom?
Tom: Men.
Teacher: Good. And the plural of child?
Tom: Twins.
"孩子"的复数形式
老师：汤姆，‘男人’这个词的复数形式是什么?
汤姆：男人们。
老师：答得好。那‘孩子’的复数形式呢?
汤姆：双胞胎。
When Do People Talk Least?
Student A: When do people talk least?
Student B: In February.
Student A: Why?
Student B: Because February is the shortest month of a year.
人们什么时候说话最少?
学生甲：人们在什么时候说话最少?
学生乙：在二月。
学生甲：为什么呢?
学生乙：因为二月是一年中最短的一个月。
The Reason of Being Late
Teacher: Johnny, why are you late for school every morning?
Johnny: Every time I come to the corner, a guidepost says, 'School -- Go Slow'.
迟到的原因
老 师：约翰尼，为什么你每天早晨都迟到?
约翰尼：每当我经过学校附近的拐角处，就见路牌上写着‘学校-缓行’。
Osama Bin Laden, a Canadian, and President Bush were walking down the street when they saw a golden lamp. They rubbed it and a genie came out and said, "I will grant each one a wish that’s 3 together." The Canadian said, "I am a father and my son will be a farmer so I want the soil in Canada to be forever fertile." The genie said the magic words and the wish came true. Osama looked amazed so he wished for a wall around Afghanistan the genie said the magic words and again the wish came true. President Bush said "Genie, tell me more about this wall," the genie said,” It’s 50 feet thick and 500 feet tall so nothing can get in and nothing can get out." President Bush said,” Wow! That’s a big bridge...Fill it with water!!!
拉登,一加拿大人还有布什总统走在大街上看到一盏金色的灯.他们擦了擦灯出现了一个精灵.精灵说:"我要满足你们每人一个愿望总共三个."加拿大人说:"我是个父亲我儿子将成为农夫,因此我想让加拿大的土地永远肥沃."精灵说了咒语愿望实现了.拉登看了很惊奇,他希望有座城墙围绕阿富汗.精灵又说了咒语愿望又实现了.布什总统问:"精灵请告诉我关于这座墙的事情."精灵回答:"墙厚50英尺,高500英尺,因而里面的任何东西出不来外面的任何东西进不去."布什总统说:"哇!那是座大桥耶...注满水!!!"
